It's been a while...

Wow, has it really been since January that I've been here? I've tried to write, but every time I started, I couldn't continue.  On the night of February 5,2011, my world collapsed. 

Even now, I find myself choking on the words.  My Gramma died. The strongest woman I have ever known didn't feel well and went to lay down, to never get back up. My rock, strength, love, my biggest fan and best friend....gone.

I don't remember much from the weeks that followed really, it's like I wasn't quite there, swimming in a sea of pain and disbelief. I felt nearly orphaned... alone... lost... I had responsibilities, but I broke like a doll... I barely made it out of bed for a month. I couldn't imagine my life without her in it... still can't.

New Year, New Promises... stream of consciousness...

Stream of Consciousness Sundays is an idea I got from Adventuroo.com. Basically, you set a timer and type while it's going, no editing, no stopping... sounds like fun, and since I spend hours editing myself, this should be interesting... but I'm gonna add pictures afterwards, cause that just makes it cool. 

The toasts have been made, he hangovers had and half the resolutions broken... This year I want to put it in writing, that makes it more real... my list of promises I make to me for 2011... 

1.   I will love me... the gooey, giggly, stupid love that you feel when your 13 for some silly boy... I wa|nt to look in the mirror and be grateful that I am in the same room with me... I want me to be the greatest thing in my life for the next year... wghich means, being someone worthy of that kind of love.... sounds like a great challenge... 

Second Chances?

The holidays are upon us, which means that I am finding myself weepy and misty eyed at the slightest hint of sentiment. It's at Christmas that I believe that anything is possible, that magic really exists and this year, I might actually hear hooves on the roof, win the lottery, or possibly experience world peace. I love this time of year because I feel like a kid again, full of wonder, innocence and delight, at least, until, some asshole like Michael Vick opens his mouth and craps all over my winter wonderland.