Life, exhausted.

I am sitting here trying in vain to come up with a post for today that is interesting, witty and entertaining. My brain is not cooperating (does it ever?). All I can think about is the mountain of laundry, the unpaid bills and how I am going to fit 60 hours of work into a 24 hour day. I know that even if I get it all done today, there'll be another list as long as my arm tomorrow. 

Did my mom feel this way? Overwhelmed and under-prepared? 

I dropped my girls off at a birthday party. The party is at the birthday girl's home and they are doing all sorts of wonderful crafts and have homemade canvas bags for the kids to take their crafts and treats home in.

I love the family that's throwing the party. They are wonderful, kind, loving people. So why do I feel so guilty taking my kids there? I'll tell you. 

I haven't thrown a kid's party here since we first moved in 4 years ago. We always have our parties out. The idea of cleaning before, hosting the party and then cleaning up afterwards exhausts me. Add to that the planning and execution of the crafts and making all the gift bags? I want to nominate my friend for sainthood. 

Where did she find the time or the inclination? I am in awe of her ability to make it look effortless. If I manage to remember candles for the cake I feel like a rock star. 

Last summer I spent 2 weeks creating a homemaker's binder so I could keep on top of things. I had lists, schedules, chore charts, appointments, meal planning and a place for coupons. 

I was so proud of my achievement, my beautiful shining binder of organization. I looked at it and felt hope and confidence. I knew that with this binder I would have all sorts of free time for crafts and baking and wholesome mom stuff. With this binder I would be SUPERMOM. 

The binder went missing 3 days later and has yet to be found. I think it took one look at me, said "oh sh*t", and hopped on the first bus out of here.

This year we are de-cluttering. I figure if we have less crap, then I have less crap to clean. The house is nearly done, with only the kitchen and basement left to do. Our garage is currently housing all our unwanted stuff waiting for the big garage sale we didn't get around to this year. 


It would be nice to be able to park in the garage when it's -30 this winter, but something tells me it's not going to happen. My husband works out of town and I am not tackling junk mountain alone, I'd never make it out alive.


What a glorious feeling it would be to get to the end of my list before the end of the day. To have a bubble bath or lay on the couch without feeling that I am slacking off in my duties.  


I would love to be completely organized and on top of things while my kids are still in the house, but something tells me that's what being a grandparent is about. Until then, please excuse the mess, my lateness and the frozen veggies.