The Dinner Dance

I blame the cooking gene, and my lack thereof. My Grandma doesn't have it, my mom doesn't have it, and I don't have it. Everyday I am faced with the same dilemma. What am I going to make for dinner? Will we live through it? It's not just the cooking that gets me, it's everything!  

Once, when my hubby was still my finance, I decided to surprise him with a steak dinner.  I popped the potatoes in the oven to cook, and started preparing everything else.  

Suddenly, I hear gunshots, I race out through the living room doing the commando crawl on the floor and hide in the bathroom. I have to call 911. Where's the phone? I left it in the kitchen. 

I crawl on my hands and knees out of the bathroom to grab the phone.  As I enter the kitchen, I notice that the window in my stove is all white.  All white? Why would it be all white? 

What I thought were gunshots were potatoes exploding in my oven. The exploding potato is a terrifying and messy lesson to learn. 

That's the problem with learning to cook. If you do it wrong, you go hungry, or worse, burn your kitchen down. It's enough to make someone just order in.  

I want my kids to be healthy though, I want them to know how to cook and not feel overwhelmed like I do when they are adults.

I want to be able to cook a side of ribs without a flaming ball shooting out of my BBQ.  Did you know that cooking them on high doesn't cook them faster?  

If you're thinking my family starves. They don't, often. I have been slowly expanding my recipe book. Recipes are never the problem, there are millions of recipes. The problem is, I don't understand cooking at its most basic. Recipes are exacting and require little creativity, and I don't want to have to rely on someone else's tastes. 

I want to create my own recipes because I understand how the food goes together. Where's the book on that? If you know of one, please let me know.  

It's just so defeating to spend all that time in the kitchen, just to end up with a big mess and everyone eating pizza. 

Our first Christmas together, my husband and I hosted both our families at our home. I didn't want any help in the kitchen. I wanted to prove to my in-laws and my family that I could cook. I should have had it catered. 

After hours of sweating in the kitchen, dinner was finally served. I had everything and it was beautiful! Garlic mashed potatoes, baby carrots in butter sauce, cranberries, stuffing... My grandmother, who has this thing for "real in the bird stuffing" asks; 

"did you use the gizzard for the stuffing?"

"what's a gizzard Gram?"

"The neck, liver, organs.  They put it in a plastic bag inside the Turkey." 

"Why would anyone put something inside the turkey Gram? who would think to look there?"

And, Christmas Pizza was had by all!