Now What?

So here I am, blogging. Now what? Maybe I should share some things about me, with you, whomever you are.

I have three kids, a husband, a home, pets, a part time job. Yadda, yadda, am basically the same as every 0ther harried, stay-at-home parent out there with bags under the eyes, too little time, and sticky spots on the floor. 


What makes me different? probably nothing but the fact that I cannot stand what parenting has become. This blog won't always be about parenting, (or failing miserably at it) lots of things piss me off, and instead of having a heart attack, I have decided to blog. Please enjoy or troll as you see fit...

I used to go out for coffee with other moms in child friendly places and couldn't stand the conversations around me. It was like the coffee house with the playground was the next chosen site for the "my child is better, stronger, faster than your child" olympics... endless hours of hearing how little Suzy was toilet trained at 10 months or Johnny was walking at 7 months... who gives a damn, by the time most kids hit kindergarten they know how to walk and aren't crapping their pants! It doesn't make someone a better mother than the one who's kid toilet trained at 4, it just makes you more anal... I don't think I am the greatest mom out there, far from it, I just think there are better things to discuss than your child's bowel movements and how you deserve a gold medal for getting his butt on the toilet. Why should your kid's natural processes be something that you need to take pride in? is this really what your life has become? really?

Why is it that the second we have children we are expected as parents to completely give up our own interests and lives and live completely through and for our kids? I feel like a pariah because I have a weekly singing gig at a bar and often get stupid questions and judgments like "who's watching your kids" or "don't you have to work too late for your kids?" Who the hell do you think is watching my kids, just because I work at a bar doesn't mean that I leave them home alone to fend for themselves naked and starving next to my heroin stash, or bring them with me and make them wait in the car! I do what every other working parent does, I pay a great sitter a lot of money to watch my kids, and secretly enjoy my time as me. Why should parents be villified for not quitting their dream or even their job to devote their lives to little Johnny, even if it's just once a week. Want to be a good parent? Make time for yourself, always consider your own needs. I'm not saying ditch the kids and head for Fiji, but find a way to balance...

I can't stand seeing a parent giving up everything in an attempt to be so available to their children ensuring that nothing could ever go wrong for Little Dick and Jane, sacrifice after sacrifice... is it really in a kids best interest? To give up our entire identities because we love someone, even unconditionally... wow that's healthy! Then we wonder why Julie is skipping high school to be with her boyfriend or Tom dropped out of his degree program because his future in-laws thought nursing was woman's work, or worse, these kids become self indulgent spoiled little assholes who most people want to take over their knees and spank, and we all know someone like that... the scary thing is, your kids emulate what they see in you, and you have no control over what they choose to emulate... how can you expect them to make better choices than the ones you make yourself, the decisions they see you make, day after day.

With parenting also comes "the fear", every stranger out there wants to kidnapp perfect little Matthew or every stair, glass or sandbox hold some evil power just waiting to send Chris to the hospital or worse, the morgue... Safety is a multi-million dollar business because so many parents are more willing to toss cash at a problem than use their brains... Kids are going to fall down, get hurt, wipeout, and attempt to eat things that a cockroach would pass over, that's what being a kid is about, discovering this messy wonderful world we live in... Our job is to educate and guide them and pray to whatever power you believe in that they stay safe, healthy and happy, and of course, jump in when necessary... It seems that parents are just throwing cash around like some mindless ATM, using plastic and gizmos to parent for them, why not sit your kids down and tell them the truth... when I caught my pre-teen riding his bike without a helmet, I showed him pics on the net of what could happen to him... he wears a hemet without my asking now... no more nagging, no more helmet worry... When my then 2 year old daughter left the house without our knowledge and I found her on our driveway "going to ballet class" I told her the hard truth about what could happen if she went outside without us... she didn't do it again, she understands that it's dangerous, and choses not to... Quit wasting your hard earned money on some faceless company buying crap that does your job for you. Protect your kids by talking with them, telling them the truth, even if it sucks, and answering their questions honestly.... You had the kids, now do the work... this world is entirely too full of assholes...